Archive for the ‘toilet paper’ Tag

Watching the Wheels…

With apologies of course to John Lennon..

The wheels of which I speak aren’t the metaphorical wheels of life, but rather something equally as important.. Something that spins on and on, throughout our lives, day after day.. I am talking of course about the toilet paper roll..

Yep.. The toilet paper roll.

More specifically, how the toilet paper is placed on the roll. To put it simply people, over is right, under is wrong!

I think I may be one of the few people in the known universe who seems to understand this concept.

It’s gotten to the point when I visit houses of friends and family, and I notice the roll on backwards, I will turn it around.  Hmmmm… That’s normal right? Nothing wrong with a little rearranging in the bathroom, right? Ok fine!! Judge me!! It’s you people with the problem, not me!

You do realize when the roll is placed on the spool backwards, there is the potential for disaster. You tug  a little too hard, and you’ve created an express elevator of free-flowing toilet paper… Going down!!! If you are bored, and you aren’t at home, try it. Yeah, you wouldn’t want to do this in your own bathroom. Do it at an unsuspecting friend’s house. I must warn you though,  after you’ve created the heaping pile of unused TP, don’t expect to re-roll the paper back on to the roll. Talk about trying to put toothpaste back into the tube. However, what you could do, is shift the blame, explain to your host the error in his/her ways. After all, they were the one who put the roll on backwards, they were asking for it! They are all asking for it!

This has been a public service announcement brought you by the HitmanTerp Foundation.*

So how does John Lennon fit into all this? Well, he doesn’t.. I was just listening to that song earlier and was inspired to write about the wheels in my life.  Although John is no longer with us, I am sure he would be on my side with this one. I’m fairly certain the Imagine album contained backwards lyrics explaining precisely how to place a new roll of toilet paper on the spool. Anyway, I suppose I should also include the song that inspired today’s entry.




*There really is no HitmanTerp Foundation, but for those of you interested, we do take donations. I’d check with the IRS first though before deducting any donations on your 2012 tax returns. By the way, I hate footnotes. At least this one wasn’t at the beginning of the story.