Kneel Before Zod!

So I could never figure out if General Zod was a pervert with an oral fetish or just a simple Kryptonian meglomaniac with a lust for power. From the sample of size of Kryptonians to ever have visited Earth, according to my math (and admittedly I was a history major) you are three times likely to be a super villain than a superhero, so maybe on Krypton, Zod was a normal guy.

Zod (center) with cellmates Non and Ursa.

Obviously the guy had authority issues sure, but I think the whole “Kneel Before Zod” schtick was a secret fetish. Think about it. The guy was locked up in a mirror for what? 30 years? The only company he had was a giant mute with the same tastes in fashion, and a boyish man-hating lady with a short fuse. I mean, I couldn’t exactly figure out the physics of what the hell the phantom zone was supposed to be, but I am fairly certain there wasnt much kneeling going on in there.  By the time that hydrogen bomb dressed as an Eiffel Tower elevator freed Zod and company, you know he must have had a lot of built up sexual tension.

See.. No room for kneeling.

Besides the obvious lack of personal space in the phantom zone, even if Zod was in the mood, do you really think he was going to put the moves on Ursa? I think he’d be more likely to get a kick in the groin from her than having her drop to her knees.  Then again, maybe he would have prefered Non to be doing the kneeling. Oh who knows…

I guess the only person who really knew for sure was Zod himself, and since he’s probably laying as a frozen corpse at the bottom of an icy crevice at the North Pole, we will never know.

BTW… Remember Zod’s introductory press conference to the world? The one where he pushes aside the President of the United States and goes on a screaming rant about defying Superman and demanding he… yep, you guessed it… “Kneel Before Zod.” That was fantastic television.

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6 comments so far

  1. The Kenyan kid on

    LOL.True words earthian!
    Let’s hope for your sake he,s not like Lord Voldemort. Saying his name is an ‘avada kedavra’ sentence!

  2. Jessica on

    I think I was married to him, in which case, he was his own biggest sexual turn-on.

    • hitmanterp on

      So you are saying your marriage was like being stuck in the phantom zone? 😉

      • Jessica on

        Plus some totally weird $h!t that made the Phantom Zone look like the Neverland Ranch, which, in turn began to look like a fun, completely non-creepy babysitting service.

      • hitmanterp on

        Yikes!

        All of my break-up stories combined, pale in comparison.

        Sorry to hear.

      • Jessica on

        It’s all good… makes for great Blog material! 😉


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